Turkey-Fucking-Day

The infix.  A superb grammatical tool that only one word in the English utilizes.  An infix is a word thrown into the middle of another word which changes the meaning but only sligtly.  The example above is fuckingl; actually fucking is the only owrd in the Engliah language you can use that ruloe.

Yesterday I drank from 3pm to 11pm.  I'm not sure if I'm still buzzed or becoming hung over.  Regardless I can't sleep.  Haven't for the last hour or so.  I'm so fucking stressed about the turkey.  Wcich brings me back to infix.  I think th eturkey is the infix of Thanksgicing.  It has altered teh meaning so that it is impossible to serparte the two.  The one gives the oterh meaning and vice versa.  People call it Turkey dayt.  That is for a reason, it is because of the prevalence of Turkey on the day.  Hell, Turkeys have cahnged because they were bred for Thasnksgiving with less dark meat and bigger breasts.  Thanksgiving turkeys I'm told can't stand upright b/c of that.  Which is distrubing.

I need to go get fixin's out of my car.  They've been there since last night be/cause there is no room at the inn of my refridgerator.  And it's probably cold enougfhh outside.  Ri-fucking-diculous.  And I need to mop the kitchen floor.  And pick up the house more.  I will be throwing things haphhavardly into my room which is already disasterous.  In-fucking-sane. I think I need an emergencee to re-fucking-hydratemyself.

Fucking Growing up

I cannot even believe how fast I grew up.  And I'm not talking about like Middle School and High School, about my first kiss and prom.  I'm tlaking about honest to God real life stuff.

I'm 25 and I'm planning Thanksigivng.  Trying to figure out how to prepare and serve a turkey.  Just a few years ago this was already set in stone for me.  I would come home, there would be turkey and gravy and mashed potatoes.  There would be side dishes and salads and rolls and drinks.  Now I'm heading the brigade of buffet.  And I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.  I've reasearched how to brine a turkey and what not to do and how to paln for extra time but I know I'll fuck up somewere.  I got drunk the nigfht before the nigt before tanksgiving.  And I might get drunk tomrrowm.  Then where will we be.  According to my watch the turkey must be out of te birne by 7.  Which may mean waking up at 6 to pull it out and wash it off.  My fridge is too small. ttere/'s not enough coutner sapce.  Will tere even be enoug food.

FUCK THIS H KEY.  IT DOES NOT WORK UN LESS I SLAM IT DOWN.  GODDAMMIT.

Sigh.

Last year my girlfriend had to make a decision: either fly home for Christmas or fly home for her best friend's wedding in June.  She chose wedding.  And spent Chrsitmas with my family.  Slept in my old room witjh me.  Th epoor thing had to decide, how to make a grown up financial decision.

I was in debt before I realized how hard it would be to get out.  And I don't even have THAT much dbet.  

Where has this gone.  Wat a loss of inconcene.

And I have to be at work at 6 am.

Fuck me.

- Capricornus